WATER MODULE

PART III: SKILLS
LESSON 2: Real, But Not True

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LESSON SUMMARY

Lesson 2: Real, But Not True

In this lesson we’ll explore how to hold our stories as real, but not true.  Sometimes the best way to deal with a story we are caught in, is to just allow it.   There are several elements we can bring both as a listener and a storyteller that we will explore in this lesson.

 

LESSON VIDEOS

VIDEO 1

Video 1 - Real, But Not True with Tsokyni Rinpoche

In this video we’ll explore how to hold our stories as real, but not true.  Sometimes the best way to deal with a story we are caught in, is to just allow it.   There are several elements we can bring both as a listener and a storyteller that we will explore in this lesson.  Listen to this short video of Tsoknyi Rinpoche sharing how our stories are real....but not true.

Real, But Not True with Tsokyni Rinpoche Audio

LESSON VIDEOS

Video 1 - Real, But Not True with Tsoknyi Rinpoche

In this video we’ll explore how to hold our stories as real, but not true.  Sometimes the best way to deal with a story we are caught in, is to just allow it.   There are several elements we can bring both as a listener and a storyteller that we will explore in this lesson.  Listen to this short video of Tsoknyi Rinpoche sharing how our stories are real....but not true.

Real, But Not True with Tsokyni Rinpoche Audio

 

LESSON CONTENT

Real But Not True

In the last lesson instead of experiencing any story at all, we were diving into the immediacy of experience, and we were just feeling what is there to be felt (i.e. sensations, emotions),  so we were skipping story in order to have a direct experience with awareness. That is a very important thing to be able to do, which is the ability to not listen to the story and, and drop direct into your immediacy, into your experience.

 

How to Be With Story

In this lesson we're going to make room for the parts of us that have stories because some of us sometimes have stories, and sometimes we get a little caught in them.  It doesn't mean that you have to stay in story. Maybe the story turns into emotion or pure energy, but right now you're actually going to allow whatever stories that you may be inhibiting or that are harder to admit.

While you share the story, you're just going to share it as much in the immediacy of the now, because while you’re sharing story, you're still sharing it from awareness, which is different from reporting. There’s a difference between what we can call “weather reporting” and sharing from the immediacy. With “reporting” we are going up to the mind. Even with story, we stay in the immediacy. 

Example:  We could say as we are reporting something like “Sometimes I think about why I'm not liked”. Or, we could go right here in the moment and take the vulnerability that would sound something like “Oh, I’m noticing that I'm wondering if you'd like me right now and I keep wondering, Oh, do I look like an idiot?”. This is still story, but it is in immediacy, which is very different from a weather report about something that happened at some other time, that you’re telling people about.

 

Real But Not True

If all our stories are basically concepts that are empty, that makes them not true. That doesn't mean that we aren't having a direct experience, or that there is some element that's touching truth in our stories, but in general, our stories are made up by our thinking mind. 

However, even though these stories are often not true from an ultimate level, they can create large amounts of experience that we are having that are very real experiences to us based on these stories.

Sometimes the best way to deal with story is to not inhibit it. To actually allow it. 

 

 

Real But Not True Container Practice

Set up a container for this exercise in the following way:

Safety

Everything in a session or a mini is always confidential - you cannot even bring up the topic that the person talked about, to them, later, without their direct permission.

How do we make the container as safe as possible for us to share? There needs to be a very strong commitment, especially when someone's sharing about a projection that they have on someone else. The commitment is that, if they're sharing a projection, you will be really, really clear and careful and attentive to hold all beings in your clarity and in your heart. The commitment to all involved in the practice is that what the listener is offering and the speaker is receiving is a container for the speaker to have the opportunity to get to true clarity. The listener is completely committed to not take on the speaker’s projections.

 

Maintain Awareness  

Both the storyteller and the one offering presence are going to maintain awareness.    We can't be totally merged in the thinker as we allow our story to speak.   Instead, we're going to be the awareness while the story is speaking which starts with a little bit of unhooking from that limited view and allowing some awareness in, even when we have a story. 

That presence is mirrored and amplified by the listener and it's also coming from the ground of your own open-hearted awareness.

 

Find the Bond
Find the awareness that is everywhere and here, and then shift into viewing from the heart and with an embracing warmth that is unconditional and without agenda. Find the bond between you. 

 

Drop into immediacy

Drop into immediacy and let yourself share whatever stories are here - whatever story has been catching you. It's story and it's emotion, so you don't only have to talk, you can express any emotion that's present. Express anything that you're experiencing - thoughts, emotions, sensations. Let’s be clear that, unlike in many session experiences, this time we're not trying to drop underneath the story. This time the story is included. Allowing your emotions, allowing your thoughts, whatever it is, just keep sharing it.

 

Hold ‘Real, But Not True’

Tsoknyi Rinpoche, a beautiful Lama, talked about a concept called "Real, but not True". It's based on the idea that all of our stories are concepts that our thoughts are making up. It's very different than what direct knowing feels like.

If all our stories are basically concepts that are empty, that makes them not true. That doesn't mean that we aren't having a direct experience, or that there is some element that's touching truth in our stories, but in general, our stories are made up by our thinking mind. 

However, even though these stories are often not true from an ultimate level, they can create large amounts of experience that we are having that are very real experiences to us based on these stories.

 

“There's nothing that you aren’t allowed to think or feel whether you’re furious, whether you’re scared, whether you’re sad, whether you want to blame everybody, whatever it is, there's room for that and making that room will help you find the uninhibited stream that can lead you to truth.”

 

Tsoknyi Rinpoche on "Real, but not True" - Tsoknyi Rinpoche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-yO5r0X13sT

“I developed this mantra.  It’s real but not true.  I wanted to get this message to the Amgydala, but why is the connection not so good? So I found the wire of kindness.  It’s true, you accept your fear because this fear came when I was  very young, and I fell from the mountain.  I was jumping...too much essence of love.  So I fell from the mountain and I had a little bit of height trauma inside which I didn’t realize before.  So third time, then I reflected and did a little bit of therapy, self therapy, because 75% of my students are therapists so I learned a lot from them so I reflected on myself then I found this symptom that I got from height.  So I had a height problem.  

It is true to me, it is real to me but it’s not true.  Not true means you are not going to die, but you really feel it.  I prayed kindly, sympathized myself, was kind to myself Rinpoche…’I know you you got this symptom but it’s not true, you will be okay.  I really understand your suffering, but it’s not true, you.”

 

Bring the view of emptiness

One of the key elements is to hold the view of the emptiness, which is to not get caught in the story and to do that, we actually have to be in awareness. We have to have enough stability in the not thinker and the not limited self to allow the story to be there without being fully merged with it.

 

Mirror non-judgmental presence

The person who is offering the presence, you get to really amplify that. You're the mirror of open, nonjudgmental, unconditional presence. Whatever their story is you are just completely present to it without condition. It doesn't mean that your mind is now going to join them and go, “Yes, yes, yes, that's true,” but you are going to completely be open, curious and listening.

 

It's also just bringing the heart of compassion to all of these aspects and all these parts that might feel scared or might feel lonely or might feel like they don't know what to do or they're frozen.

 

Hold That It’s Unknown What Is True

The person who’s holding presence is not just going to be completely empty, because no one wants to talk to empty space, you're going to hold that it’s just unknown what is true.  In that unknowing, you're going to be completely curious, completely receptive, completely listening and even celebrating their story, whatever it is, even if it’s about you, we’re going to make room for it and even enjoy it.

 

Create an Uninhibited Stream

You want the storyteller to get the direct sensation that there's nothing that they can't think, there's nothing that they can't feel. Whether they're furious, whether they're scared, whether they're sad, whether they want to blame everybody, whatever it is, that there's room for that.  There's a place where that is allowed so that it can come out in an uninhibited stream.

 

Find the Nuggets Of Truth

What you may notice as you uninhibit that stream while maintaining presence and the listener is not colluding with it, not buying it, not joining you, but actually just holding an unconditional presence, your thinking tends to clarify.  It's almost as if that much presence converts the story towards truth.

 

There are always these little nuggets - something that you needed, what you really feel, something you really need to say,  an actual clarity around a boundary or a decision, but we often can't get there because it's muddled with all the parts and all the feelings that we're not allowed to feel and all the thoughts that we shouldn't think.

 

If we can create a space where we have an open stream and then the person who's with us commits to be absolutely celebrating whatever it is we think,  but also not being bought into it,  it gives us an opportunity for all of that to stream through and then our natural awareness, which is brilliant, and knowing will find what's actually true inside of it.

Downloadable Content


WATER MODULE WORKBOOK PART III

REFLECTION QUESTION

Lesson Objectives

Water Badges:

You've earned out of 3 Water Badges

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water INITIATE Badge means you have completed the content on all 33 lessons in the water module and have submitted your reflection question responses.'][/simple_tooltip]
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  WATER BENDER

  INITIATE

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water APPRENTICE Badge means you have submitted all 18 of the meditations and practices in the water module.'][/simple_tooltip]
%

  WATER BENDER

  APPRENTICE

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water Practitioner Badge means you have done 12 mini sessions received at least 3 sessions and given 10 Water Bending Sessions.'][/simple_tooltip]
%

  WATER BENDER

  PRACTITIONER

Get Support: