WATER MODULE

PART III: SKILLS
LESSON 7: Being With & Discharging Emotions Practices (2)

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Lesson Objectives

Water Badges:

You've earned out of 3 Water Badges

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water INITIATE Badge means you have completed the content on all 33 lessons in the water module and have submitted your reflection question responses.'][/simple_tooltip]
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  WATER BENDER

  INITIATE

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water APPRENTICE Badge means you have submitted all 18 of the meditations and practices in the water module.'][/simple_tooltip]
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  WATER BENDER

  APPRENTICE

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water Practitioner Badge means you have done 12 mini sessions received at least 3 sessions and given 10 Water Bending Sessions.'][/simple_tooltip]
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  WATER BENDER

  PRACTITIONER

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LESSON SUMMARY

Lesson 7: Skills - Being With & Discharging Emotions Practices

In this lesson we practice rebuilding the natural skills that allow us to discharge emotions and learn how to be with intensity from others.  We get caught in reactivity...craving, grabbing, wanting, repelling, protecting, fighting, defending.  In this lesson we learn several practices to restore our ability to Discharge our emotions in a healthy way, relearning the natural processes that allow us to be in the immediacy of our emotions, feel them fully and release them completely.

LESSON CONTENT

Primacy of Experience

PRACTICE #1: Dishcharging Emotions

In this practice you’ll be finding a partner and holding space for each other to discharge intense emotions.

 

  1. Find a partner.
  2. Create a safe container. Use all of your air and water skills of awareness, presence, warmth, connection, embrace and receiving 
  3. Let them know you are ready to receive.  If the person wants to do anger, I'd suggest you add earth... you're going to need a little more ground, and then you want to go even more receptive.   You can let your person know if you're ready to be with anger,   
  4. Celebrate what arises.   If someone is angry, you can just celebrate it., "Oh, how angry are you? Keep showing me.  Ooh, how mad?" 
  5. Discharge without story.  Your goal is not to talk about it or think about it. Find something where you still feel charge in your body  and just let your body find the crying, find the shaking, find the sound, whatever it is.  
  6. Do this for 5 minutes and switch sides.  
  7. Submit your practice. Do this practice a few times with a partner and then submit it below to receive points towards your Water Bender Apprentice Badge.

 

PRACTICE #2: BEING WITH CHARGE
  1. Take a deep breath and slow things down so you can perceive the situation and see that the person is in a part.   Usually when you're engaging with someone and they're throwing charge at you, your immediate reaction is to go into a part yourself too.  So you need to be able to slow the reaction time down and have some space between the stimuli and your reaction so you don’t also end up in a part.
  2. Take a deep breath and ground into the lower half of your body.   Drop your awareness down into the belly and legs for more grounding bringing about 85% of your energy into the lower half of your body.  Notice what you can report when you feel someone shifted like this? Usually there's more of a sense that “I'm here and I got you,” not as a mental perception but something that’s much larger than the parts that are activated. 

    Start by mastering this ability to have more of your awareness down into the lower half of your body until you can be more grounded and less reactive more often versus walking around in our heads. From our heads we are much more apt to go into a part and react if.we encounter situations or encounter people that are in high charge or high emotionality and start panicking.  This is what we need to have already on tap if we're going to even attempt to be with high charge without panicking.
  3. Create a container with the person.  Anytime that you want to choose to work to be able to train your body to do this, you absolutely need to have a container with the person and you've set some ground rules for the limitations around what you can take.   Start off with a container of time to get a sense of how much they've got in there - is it level 10 rage or are they just frustrated? You want to work yourself incrementally up to that place where your system can trust that you can open to that level of receptivity.   Non containerized, regular, like day to day things, you have to be able to train first in container to be able to get to the point where you can spontaneously be able to do it in real life situations otherwise you leave yourself subject to getting re-traumatized by taking in something beyond your capacity.
  4. Add in some Water and feel it like a gentle stream with the ground, feel its soothing.
  5. Add in some Air so that when the charge comes there’s spaciousness and the charge can go right through you.  When we're in that Air there's no part there for it to land on them.  There's no reaction.
  6. When receiving charge (distorted masculined) hold all 3 channels Air>Water>Ground at once. It's a three-step movement with all three channels at the same time. A high charge reaction, passing without resistance and is just met with water and then discharges into the ground. There's air for it to come in, water for it to transmute into love and then ground and support coming all at the same time.   What happens in this configuration is often people can only hold the masculine distortion for under 15 seconds and then may collapse back into the more feminine distortion side of giving up because you are going to be receiving the really high masculine distortion instead of resisting it.   When you get nothing but open love, it usually takes all the fire out of it and we collapse into the feminine side.   Adding Air in my system and Air in the other person's system allows you not to merge and interfere with their process and we are also really centered in our own nervous system and really regulated in ourselves - I’ve got me and I’ve got you.
  7. When there is collapse (distorted feminine) bring Tree and Ground.  So it's two flips Air>Water >Earth and then Tree>Ground. And those are the two channels to do back and forth throughout the process as they flip from the high charge masculine distortion into the collapse of the feminine distortion.  The reason why you want to add more Tree and Ground versus more Water is that that is Yin meeting Yin and they may feel like they aren’t being held.  Bring in Tree if they go into the feminine side.  There’s some structure in it.  Air is allowing the emotions to go through, but they're also being held at the same time by that centrality. 
  8. Have your partner recall a circumstance that brings up charge.  A situation where that was really highly evoking that distorted masculine side and you really wanted to rage or get angry but you just didn't, you weren't allowed to, it wasn't going to be received, or maybe you did to some degree, but it wasn't received.   Share a little bit of color around what it is.  Take one specific incident where it was exemplary,
  9. In the container, become the one who they wanted to receive the charge.  Give them 100% freedom to share what they wanted to say or do to them physically...let it rip.   Flip between either Air>Water>Ground if they are in the distorted masculine or Tree>Ground if they are in collapse, distorted feminine.
  10. Breathe them in and take in the intensity. Breath it into your body, down, and back to them as support.  Help them let the intensity out, tell them not to be afraid and not to hold back and to throw it right at you.  You can ask them to throw the anger, frustration, intensity at you while holding AIr>Water>Ground through that intensity and Tree>Ground if they collapse so they feel your presence and support.   If they feel tightness have them touch it and throw it at you breathing all of it in.   There’s a tendency to have a part come in and hold it ourselves and during this process we are catching that part and letting them know to not hold it ourselves but instead to connect out here and let the other person hold it and keep sending it outwards.  Instead of trying to do it inside, connect out here and keep sending it.  Whatever constriction is here - that is the part that is holding it.   Let them know to give it all to you and to take up the space of the whole room
  11. Let them know how important it is to be heard and received.  Help them track and feel any places they are stuck and any places they are trying to hold it all themselves versus throwing it to you.  Have them feel the heart hurt and the deep ache.   Have them let you feel it.  Hold the backside of their heart letting them know you are here.  Keep reminding them to send it out here in connection so that it can move.  
  12. Take in big deep breaths with them and then give it some space letting the emotional bandwidth flow.   Lot of spaciousness use the whole room to cycle the energy.
  13. Have them do a body check to track if there’s still any place that’s constricted.   Check to see if there’s more spaciousness, more peacefulness.
  14. Help them come back to themselves so they don’t have to do it by themselves offering some soothing water into their belly.  Revel in this state for a while reminding that part that it’s held.
  15. Submit your practice to earn points towards your Water Bender Apprentice Badge.

Downloadable Content


WATER MODULE WORKBOOK PART III

WATER BENDER
APPRENTICE PRACTICES

LAI Course Badges - Water Apprentice

WATER BENDER
APPRENTICE PRACTICES

Being With & Discharging Emotions Practices

Watch the videos from this lesson and do the Discharging Emotions and Skills Lab practices described here to earn points towards your Water Bender Apprentice Badge.

  1. Discharging Emotions Practice
  2. Being With Charge Skills Lab Practice

 

Lesson Objectives

Water Badges:

You've earned out of 3 Water Badges

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water INITIATE Badge means you have completed the content on all 33 lessons in the water module and have submitted your reflection question responses.'][/simple_tooltip]
%

  WATER BENDER

  INITIATE

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water APPRENTICE Badge means you have submitted all 18 of the meditations and practices in the water module.'][/simple_tooltip]
%

  WATER BENDER

  APPRENTICE

[simple_tooltip content='Earning the Water Practitioner Badge means you have done 12 mini sessions received at least 3 sessions and given 10 Water Bending Sessions.'][/simple_tooltip]
%

  WATER BENDER

  PRACTITIONER

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